A Day In The Life: Military Pilot Marriage (C-17 + A-10)

Hi! I am Monica, a C-17 pilot and my husband flies the A-10. We’re in the midst of navigating life as a dual-military couple. I currently am stationed at JB Charleston, SC and he is moving OCONUS. 

How we met + managed career expectations

We met at our first assignment at Laughlin AFB, TX. We both were assigned as FAIPs following pilot training, myself a T-1 FAIP and him a T-38 FAIP. When we began dating, we both had a clear understanding that we would likely go on to fly different platforms. I had always wanted to go the mobility track and he wanted to fly fighters. It was something we addressed early on and I am grateful we stuck to our commitments to ourselves. I received my follow-on assignment one year prior to my husband (at the time, we were still dating) and ranked my preferences based upon what platforms I had always wanted to fly. We had a few discussions about this, knowing that my preferences would not be co-located with his preferences. When he received his assignment the following summer, we were in agreement that he should have the same opportunity to put what platforms he always wanted to fly, independent of where I was stationed. We were both fortunate enough to end up in our respective communities. It was extremely important to us that we both felt fulfilled in our Air Force careers and that if we could make it work wherever we ended up, it would be well worth it.

Dealing with distance

We had dated three years prior to getting married, both co-located and apart. We knew distance would be a challenge (and still is), but we decided that as long as our relationship was working for us, it was just an inconvenience we’d overcome. We make an effort to see each other every 1-2 months, but that isn’t always possible with deployments, training upgrades, and TDYs. Something we have found really helpful is being able to adjust our routines. We try to make time to chat on the phone each day, but understand that with time zone changes, random flying schedules, being at work 12+ hours, and other life events sometimes result in us having to be patient and flexible. We’ve played phone tag quite a bit, but communication and including one another in our days has been instrumental in our relationship.

It is also extremely important to build relationships at our duty stations and be involved with our communities. We both have a great group of friends and enjoy making the best of our locations. It affords us the opportunity to share with each other memories we make independently and makes the time in between our visits fly by. When we are together, we make sure to hang out with our friends, visit the squadron, and incorporate each other into what we do every day, just as if we were together each day.

As we navigate the joint-spouse realm and assignment process, we know there will continue to be challenges and things may not line up perfectly. Until then, we work to best fulfill our service commitments and look forward to being together!